This is a copy of the testimony I
use in Japan. You may notice the sentence structure is very simple; that's
because it was written to be translated on the fly, one sentence at a time,
but you'll get the idea.
When I was a young child, my mom made me go to church every week. But I hated going to church when I was young. Then, in high school I started to enjoy church but only because I had many friends there. When I went to college I continued going to church to make friends and have fun. I thought that I was a good person and that I did everything right because I went to church.
But in my last year of college everything changed. My last year in college was a very good year. I was the treasurer of my dorm. I had a big room, a good roommate and lots of friends. I was ready to graduate with two degrees and I had a great job at a great company ready for me when I graduated. Some people would say that I had a perfect life. But I was not happy. Even though I had so many things, I felt alone and worthless.
I had many accomplishments, but I was never satisfied with my performance. I had many friends and family but still did not feel loved. I had many material possessions, but was never satisfied. I never did bad things, but I still didn’t feel good about myself. Nothing that I did satisfied my soul. Instead my constant working made me feel tired and empty. I felt alone and unloved and I realized that despite my accomplishments, I hated my life. I wanted to move away from everyone and everything and just disappear.
One day, my life seemed so pointless and futile that I decided it would be better if I just killed myself. I even decided how to commit suicide. But for some reason, I could not kill myself. Something in my heart told me to try talking to God in prayer. I picked up a bible and a bible study guide. In the study guide I found a study on loneliness and I decided to see what it said. It gave me a passage: Luke 10:25-27.
On one occasion an expert in the law stood up to test Jesus. "Teacher," he asked, "what must I do to inherit eternal life?" "What is written in the Law?" he replied. "How do you read it?" He answered: "`Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind'; and, `Love your neighbor as yourself.'"
As I read, a question came into my mind: “Who have you made lonely today?” Why was that question in my head? I didn’t care about other people, I only cared about myself. But the question came back again, “Who have you made lonely today?”
Then I realized that God was trying to tell me something. I realized that
all my life, I had been living for myself; for my own needs. Even when
I did good things, I was doing it selfishly. I was living for myself and
expecting something in return. But that is not what Jesus Christ did.
Jesus came to die for us, to pay for all the bad things and mistakes we
have done. And Jesus did not ask for anything in return from us; He did
this because He loves us. And that is what He teaches us to do as well.
Jesus just wants us to love him and to love others, and He will take care
of everything else.
When I realized that, I decided to ask Jesus to come into my life and
forgive me for being so selfish. I got down on my knees and prayed to
Jesus. I asked Him to take away my loneliness and to give me peace. I
asked Him to help me love other people more than I loved myself. And when
I was done, my emptiness and loneliness were gone! Instead, my heart was
full of joy and eager to tell others what happened!
Today, I am content and I have peace. Jesus gives me the ability to share
that same love, joy and happiness with others. I do not know what will
happen in the future or whether it will be good or bad. Now I just do
my best to love and follow Jesus and to love others and I let Jesus take
care of everything else.